the rising action of togetherness

fasten your seatbelts, aqua-kids,
and prepare for unbridled power
and my machete to create
an unforgettable quinceañera.

step 1: Russian Super Tuberculosis.
step 2: licking things to claim them as your own.
step 3: profit.

take a knee. the chimpanzees have evolved
their own rain forest rendition of the
Quesadilla Explosion salad from Chili’s.
I am tempted to believe that, in the future,
we will pay for goods and services with
tasteful sideboob.

Gentle query as you await your
croissant doughnut manifesto:
how many have worked so arduously
towards the refurbishment of the Cleveland Indians
only to have the war paint seven-second-delayed
by Child Protective Services?

read all about it: David Blaine’s most
difficult stunt as-of-late was his escape from
eight ounces of sweet Mexican black tar heroin.
what can he do about the flying sex snakes
in my Happy Meal? next time on Dr. Phil:
how to talk to your child about the Hamburglar.

Miley Cyrus struggles with logic and facts.
and deez nuts. come back to my place, and
I’ll show you how I destroyed the evidence:
azeroriskwaytomake$2000athome.com/anicepicklobotomy

and what did you bring for Show and Tell today?
seppuku.

the whole world is hospice care.
never leave the house without a can of
Mountain Dew: Waiting ‘Til Marriage.
fear? I’ll tell you fear: finding Keanu Reeves
in your Kung Pao chicken and knowing that,
with enough time and pressure, extremely tight pants
will turn into weapons-grade plutonium.

still squeamish?
cancel Cinemax.