havoc in the hardware store


a human interest story…

today,
a madman won a shopping spree
at the Home Depot.
this is the same crackpot
who thought he could get rich
by writing a book about roadkill.

those who know him well —
call him ally, comrade, or kook —
said that needlenose pliers
and Thompson’s Water Seal
were high on his list.
spectators claim
all he took was glue,
enough Elmer’s to fill the bed
of his Ford 250 pickup.
what all this glue is for,
one can only speculate.

various accredited upstarts
theorize with wrinkled brows
that the madman has
some sort of fetish.

this activity does not coincide
with the local weather report:
mild, breezy, amiable,
chance of crazy – 5%.

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